Diversion, Division, Decisions
by SeptemberGirl84
Summary: Season 5. The Meta Cure has been made and administered while Killer Frost gets her own body. Caitlin and Killer Frost learn to interact as two people instead of one.
1. Chapter 1

Caitlin rolled her neck, trying to relieve the tension she was feeling. She was in her lab, focusing on helping Cisco with his meta human cure. It was difficult to work remotely with the breacher; he was at the Tannhauser lab while she stayed behind. Her powers were more helpful than his, and Cisco needed to continue to lay low. After all, the world thought he was dead. Caitlin was studying the reactions of the dark matter as she radiated it with particles replicated from Cicada's blood, sighing as she felt a headache build. She closed her eyes and tipped her head back against her chair, weary to the bone.

"You ok Caity?" Killer Frost echoed in her mind, snarky voice actually warm in tone. There was a ghost of a touch across her mind, cool fingertips trailing across her forehead. "You actually feel warm."

"I will be, just as soon as I can narrow down the trigger for the meta human cure." Caitlin sighed, hearing voices begin to echo in the cortex outside her lab. "I would rather be offsite with Cisco, but Barry and the others need me here since our powers are immune to Cicada."

The machine beeped as Barry and Iris walked into the main part of the lab, and with an eye roll, both cold metas turned their back to the couple. Based on the information being displayed, she broke the code and found out what makes a person a meta. Even Killer Frost seemed interested, and Caitlin could feel her wanting to ask a question.

"What are you thinking?"

"How is this different that what Thomas did to us when we were younger? How does this make our powers different than the others?"

"How our powers work deal with the fact that Thomas actually altered our genetic structure in order to strengthen our nerve cells against ALS, basically mutating our cells and bringing you to life. That could be why you were buried for so long, but only began waking up after we were exposed to dark matter. It jump started the dormant mutation." Caitlin forgot she was speaking out loud, jumping when Iris asked,

"What are you talking about?" Caitlin turned, seeing several people crowded in the doorway of her lab. Basically, it was all of Team Flash, minus Cisco, Cecil and Joe.

"Killer Frost was asking about the difference of our powers compared to those of Barry and Ralph's, of every other meta out there." Caitlin shrugged, glancing back at the monitors on display. She briefly dismissed the others, reading over the information before her.

"I would say genetic mutation is the root of the difference." Sherloque suggested, eyes always sharp despite his indulgent manner. Both Caitlin and Killer Frost knew that there was more to the detective than meets the eye.

"Exactly." Caitlin waved her hand at the screens in front of her. "Regular metas are more of a hormonal creation. Based on the results of Cisco's research and Cicadas blood -"

The monitor to the left pinged and a live stream of Cisco popped up. He looked excited and worn out at the same time, leaning close to the screen, smile on his face.

"Have you seen what you sent me? It's the key to the cure."

"Hey man, Caitlin was about to explain it." Ralph told the screen, waving at Cisco.

"Cool, cool. Do it up Ice Queen."

"Funny Cisco." Killer Frost pushed forward for a moment, addressing the breacher with a smirk before falling back and letting Caitlin have the wheel.

"Based on the results of Cisco's research and Cicada's blood tests, we've pinpointed how the meta humans were created." Caitlin smiled softly at Cisco, moving to lean across the table and pick up her tablet. Killer Frost sniggered, whispering 'later' to Caitlin.

"You know how I got my powers?" Barry asked, finally speaking up. His tone was a mix of curious, hopeful and sad at the same time.

"Not just yours, but everyone's." Caitlin had made a decision several weeks ago to no longer cater to just Barry. Others needed her help, and it was time to let her patient go. Slowly she was beginning to loosen the ties that held her to Team Flash and S.T.A.R. on the chance that one day she would be strong enough to truly walk away and never look back.

"Based on this, the dark matter is concentrated it the pituitary gland, not the whole body like we believed before. Originally we thought that the dark matter altered DNA, but thanks to recent events, we know that's no longer the case.

"The dark matter collects in the glad, being metabolized and manifesting itself as powers. This explains how not everyone exposed the the dark matter wave became a meta. Countless factors led to individuals being more receptive of the fallout of the accelerator explosion. The powers act as a defense mechanism, protecting the host.

"Cicada's shard dagger somehow siphons dark matter and energy, pulling out the darkness and powers. Basically, he doesn't need to kill metas, he just needs to pull their powers out of their bodies. That's how he's able to neutralize your powers."

"All we have to do is synthesize it into a serum, and the meta cure will be ready to test." Cisco chirped from the other side of the screen. Caitlin read the relief and excitement in his eyes.

"Who will we test it on?" Iris asked. "What meta would want to give up their powers?"

Caitlin flinched, knowing exactly who. Cisco. And herself, at one point and time. Now though, Caitlin couldn't imagine her life without Killer Frost. It also helped that they now knew that Caitlin and Killer Frost weren't metas; they were mutants and therefore the cure wouldn't work on them. She caught the look Barry sent Iris, but the other woman was oblivious. Apparently Barry knew about Cisco's decision to remove his powers as well. Not for the first time she wondered how two people who were so clueless could be in love and had a child in the future. Cautiously she turned and watched Cisco, waiting to see how he would react.

"I'm planning on testing it myself, to make sure it works." Cisco stated firmly, allowing no room for argument. "My powers have already been diminished from long term exposure to the shards."

"What about your vibes? Of seeing future events?" Nora asked, tone somehow off.

Killer Frost came alert, bristling at the tone and words of the young speedster. It had been happening more and more of late. Killer Frost knew there was something Nora was hiding from everyone, and she knew from the way Sherloque was acting, he knew it too. She plays way too innocent to have brief moments of insight into the nature of the Speed Force to not be hiding something. Even Caitlin was beginning to suspect that there was more to Nora West-Allen than meets the eye.

"We survived our first year and part of our second year without them. We can do it again." Cisco rebutted, crossing his arms. It was like he was daring one of them to tell him he couldn't do it. They didn't know Cisco as well as she did. Once he decided something, there was nothing that would make him budge. His stubborn streak was a mile wide.

"As well as your breaching ability." Sherloque interjected.

"After having made an extrapolater for Kara, I've made several for our use here. It's a simple matter of incorporating one into your existing suits, and then each of you will have the ability to breach."

As they were speaking, Caitlin was packing up her kit with everything she would need to take with her. She would be joining Cisco for the last part of this. It was something that they needed to do together. They needed quiet and a safe place to proceed in case there were unforeseen consequences. It would also do both her and Killer Frost good to get away from all the drama and madness for a little while. They needed a break.

"Speaking of." Caitlin pressed the button of the device in her hand, opening a silver blue portal. "I'm heading your way Cisco. Do you want me to stop by Big Belly on the way up?"

"Duh." The screen flicked off, making everyone laugh.

"You be careful up there." Barry said earnestly, making Caitlin cock an eyebrow, letting Killer Frost drift forward, not wanting to deal with the over protective speedster. More and more of late Caitlin decided that she wanted her interactions with Barry to be less and less, so she would move back and Killer Frost would come through. The other persona was her protector and defense mechanism for difficult situations. Besides, she liked how he was always caught off guard when it was sassy Frost that answered, not sweet Snow.

"Don't worry handsome, I'll keep Caity safe." Killer Frost drawled before stepping into the void. With a chuckle at the shocked look on the faces of the others and a wave the women disappeared.

"Handsome?" Caitlin asked after they picked up the food for the trip, stepping back into the portal. Killer Frost was always throwing little flirtations out at the scarlet speedster, but Caitlin never got an explanation as to why.

"Believe it or not, I do miss Savitar." Killer Frost replied. "At least that version of Barry was our own and we didn't have to deal with miss-I'm-always-right Iris West-Allen."

"I knew it! You have a thing for Barry." Caitlin was shocked, the other half of her psyche having never mentioned her attraction before.

"So do you, miss-I-kissed-Hannibal-Bates-as-Barry-and-liked-it." Killer Frost cackled. "Maybe we can take this breacher and look around on other earths. There has to be more than one Barry Allen out there for us to find."

"And what do you want to bet there are just as many Iris Wests out there too?"

The idea had more appeal than Caitlin wanted to admit. She missed the Barry Allen from years before, the one who was innocent and full of excitement at having super speed. The one who shared her passion for science and learning. Now he was just a shell, too wrapped up in Iris to be of interest to her anymore. It broke her heart, but Caitlin knew there was no going back. Not without making the timeline even worse.

"Maybe, maybe not." Killer Frost shrugged as they stepped through the portal at the Tannhauser site. "I do know Savitar said there were so many earths out there that the possibilities were endless."

"Yessss!" Cisco pounced right away, snatching the bags of Big Belly Burger out of Caitlin's hands. "Come to papa sweet heaven."

"Didn't you pack you food for your stay here?" Caitlin scolded, the doctor in her very protective of the man she considered a brother and best friend.

"I did, but I was getting sick of it all. There's only so much canned food you can eat before you are craving something fresh."

"You know, you can come home every now and then. You can stay at the lab and we can bring you something to eat." Caitlin sat down next to Cisco and began eating. "It's lonely without you at S.T.A.R."

"I thought you had Killer Frost to keep you company." Cisco sounded confused.

"She does, Vibe boy, but it isn't the same as having someone who doesn't live in your head to talk to. She's afraid that she sounds like a crazy person sometimes when she's talking to me." Killer Frost answered Cisco, shrugging and going right to the point. Caitlin wondered if she had done a good thing in letting Killer Frost defend her so much lately. Killer Frost rolled her eyes and mentally shushed Caitlin.

"What about the rest of the team?" Cisco sounded concerned now, hamburger sitting forgotten. While he was in self imposed exile, Caitlin knew that he wanted to make sure she was ok. He couldn't be there to deflect the others scrutiny. Yes, they are more accepting of Killer Frost now, but Cisco was like a buffer to them. Protecting her the way Killer Frost did.

"Let's see ... Barry is so far up Iris' ass that he can't see the light of day; Nora is hiding something from all of us, but we're not sure what; Sherloque knows Nora is hiding something, and I think he's close to figuring out what; and Ralph is an idiot." Killer Frost never pulled punches.

"You think Nora is keeping a secret?" Cisco tilted his head. "Because before I left I would pick up residual vibes from her. Not really images like usual, but more like emotional impressions. She was always wound up tight, trying to hold something close. There was also some fear, anger and desperation mixed in."

"And you're sure you want to give up your powers? To become a regular human again?" Frost asked, skeptical tone to her voice. Caitlin decided enough was enough and slipped back into control of their body.

"Yes. To the both of you." Cisco said, voice resigned but firm. "I'm sick of this life. I'm over having to always be on guard, to be fighting for my life every other day. I'm sick of living my life in a science fiction movie. I want to meet someone, settle down and have a family."

"That actually sounds nice. I had hoped to do that with Ronnie, but fate had something else in mind." Caitlin sighed, poking at her food. For several minutes they were silent as they ate, contemplating life and the things that they had dealt with over the years.

"Can I ask you a question Killer Frost?" Cisco asked suddenly, making Caitlin jump. She switched personas and waited to hear the conversation.

"You just did, but yes, you can."

"What would you say if I was able to provide you with your own body, separate from Caitlin?"

Both women stared at Cisco, too shocked to say anything. It was something that they both knew to be incredibly practical and selfish to want, but at the same time, they had begun to learn how to cherish the bond they shared. It was hard to describe how it felt to be them. It was like they were the alter ego of each other. Caitlin handled the regular day to day tasks, but when it came to kicking ass, Killer Frost would take over. The only difference was, they were two separate minds instead of one.

"How would that even be possible?" Frost asked softly, mind spinning too fast for her to think clearly. For once, she was stunned and without a comeback.

"Cloning. Genetic replication. Brain mapping." Cisco replied evenly, tone more prosaic than she would have given him credit for. Normally, in the past, he'd be acting like a giddy fanboy. Now though, he sounded grounded and level headed.

"You know those are all things that are considered unethical, right?" Caitlin struggled to get her head around what Cisco was asking.

"Only if the participants are unwilling." Cisco shook his head. "That's why I'm asking what you think about it. We have the technology here to do it. We have all of your father's research and notes on how he edited your genetic markers. It's basically a blueprint on how to build another body that is the exact replica of yours."

"Sounds risky." Killer Frost added, not entirely sure but willing to give it a try. "I know Caity and I have come to an understanding, but it would be something I am willing to explore. It's not fair to either one of us to share a body for the rest of our lives."

"Are you sure?" Caitlin asked out loud. "I thought this is what you were afraid of; of me getting rid of you."

"If this works, you aren't getting rid of me, I'm just moving to a new home. One where we can actually interact like two people instead of a crazy person." Frost replied out loud as well, for Cisco's benefit.

"You don't have to decide now." He interjected. "First, we figure out the meta cure, then we can delve into making Killer Frost her own killer bod."


	2. Chapter 2

True to his word, Cisco didn't bring up the cloning topic again for several days. During the day Caitlin worked with the long haired man on perfecting the meta cure, only going back to Central City to sleep or to help the team. Once the bulk of the cure was made, both metas returned to S.T.A.R. only to tell the team the one part of the cure that was the bad news.

"The cure is ready to go?" Barry asked the two of them, voice hopeful. "Are we ready to use it on Cicada?"

"Unfortunately, not yet." Cisco shook his head.

"Why not?" Iris demanded. "I thought you weren't coming back until the cure was complete."

Caitlin saw Cisco's temper flare in his brown eyes and decided to step in. After all, Iris didn't like her or Frost to begin with. Might as well make herself the target since she had one painted on her back all the time.

"The cure needs to mature, to finish bonding. We have done all that we can, now we just need to wait." Caitlin held up the case full of vials, eyes shining a slight blue as Killer Frost lurked just under the surface.

"How long do we have to wait?" Ralph asked.

"28 days." Cisco and Caitlin said at the same time.

"What, a whole month?" Iris asked, throwing her hands in the air. "In that time Cicada can kill countless more metas. What are we supposed to to, just sit here and wait?"

"What if I took the cure into the speed force?" Barry thought aloud. "Time is meaningless there. One hour there should be the equivalent of a month here. That way we don't have to wait for the cure to mature."

Caitlin and Cisco looked at each other with a shrug. It could work. Caitlin handed the case over to Barry and watched as he flashed into his suit before disappearing into the accelerator. The next hour was impossible to track and remember; Nora running back in time so many times that Caitlin and Frost felt like she shredded their mind and body. Luckily they had meta healing powers just like every meta there, but none of them had the rapid healing that a speedster did. In the end, the cure was matured and everyone stayed alive.

"Let's hope Nora didn't screw the timeline over any more than she already has." Frost growled, pacing Caitlin's lab as Cisco looked on, the two of them having distanced themselves from the others once back at base.

"Yeah, we've had enough of that to last a dozen lifetimes." Cisco remarked, securing one of the vials into an injector. It was time to test the cure, and Cisco was determined to be the first.

"Are you sure you want to do that now after everything we've just been through?" Frost asked. "I would have thought you would want to get some rest before experimenting on yourself."

The women watched as Cisco stilled, thinking over her words. His movements stilled and he sat the injector down with a sigh. Caitlin breathed a sigh of relief as Killer Frost retreated.

"You're right. A good night's sleep would be good." Cisco stood up and opened a portal back to the offsite lab. "I'll see you in the morning Cait."

"Night Cisco." Then he was gone, the portal closing with a quiet swoosh. In the quiet she could hear Barry's voice in the cortex. With a sigh she moved to the door of her lab, curious to what was going on. Nora sat on the steps leading to where Barry kept his suit on the mannequin, head bent as Barry sat beside her.

"You really could have messed things up Nora." Barry was saying, voice gentle but admonishing. "Time travel is not something you just do."

"Barry would know." Caitlin stepped forward, icy mist swirling around her feet. It was time to explain things the hard way to the novice speedster. "After all, he's screwed the timeline a few times himself."

"Not now Frost." Iris glared from the main console, but when the cold woman turned to her, Iris was shocked to see it wasn't Frost who was in control, but Caitlin.

"Yes now." The doctor stated. "I'm getting to the end of my patience, and so is Frost. She needs to know the consequences of what happens when you mess with reality."

The doctor stopped before the two speedsters, arms crossed, cool mist swirling around her lazily. She could tell by the look in Nora's eyes she was scared. Even Barry looked apprehensive. Iris was still shooting daggers at her from across the room, but that didn't matter. Caitlin had a temper, Barry knew that, but it had been some time before she'd let it show. She wasn't even sure Iris had ever seen her lose it.

"Nora, did you know that when we first met Barry, neither Cisco or I had powers?" Caitlin began, voice neutral. "The first time Barry went back in time, it was just for a day, but it resulted in Cisco getting his powers. Thawne killed him in the original timeline, and with Barry reversing it, caused Cisco to vibe it and see what happened from the new, altered timeline."

"I didn't know that." Nora shook her head. "There's no record of that in the Flash Museum."

"I'm not surprised. It's not something we talk about, but you need to know." Caitlin continued, moving to pull up a chair, settling down where she could see the entire West-Allen family.

"After Barry defeated Zoom, he decided that he was going to go back again, this time to the night his mother died. In keeping her alive, he created another timeline - Flashpoint. With that, he changed things to make it possible for Frost to be born. I died and she took over."

There was a huge flash of guilt across Barry's face. Good. The spiteful person inside Caitlin was overjoyed that he was hurting. Iris, however, was turning red under her dark skin and makeup.

"It was another one of Barry's mistakes that would haunt the team next, albeit one from a future timeline."

"Savitar." Nora piped up. "He was in the Flash Museum. It told all about how he wanted to kill mom and that dad killed him for it."

"No, Nora. I killed him." Iris stated, coming around the console. There was a victorious and vicious look in her eye. "I shot him in the back, then the speed force did the rest. That was also when Caitlin went all Killer Frost and tried to kill us."

The look the dark skinned woman sent the ice meta was full of venom. Caitlin just shrugged, ice creeping along the back of her hands. Nora was looking back and forth between the two women as was Barry. Killer Frost cackled a laugh, deciding it was time to take the wheel and shake things up a bit. The change was instant, no fading from Caitlin to Frost. One second the good doctor sat there, the next, the ice cold meta was smiling back at them.

"I will say, I was the closest one to pulling it off too. None of you could stop me. Only Cisco was able to reach Caity." She turned her attention to Nora.

"Savitar was this close to killing your mom, but HR swapped places, changing the future. Then I killed Hunter Zolomon in his Black Flash wraith form, and it was like a weight was lifted of Caitlin. After that, once Caity had been reached, we left and almost didn't come back."

"Why did you come back?" Barry asked, green eyes troubled. "Caitlin never told us."

"Why should she?" Frost waved her hand, sending a puff of cool air into the room. "She did her job, and never got anything more than a simple thanks in return. Honestly, I'm the best thing that has happened to her."

"For a long time Caitlin didn't think that way. She was afraid of you." Barry pointed out, voice dark in tone, frown on his face.

"Please, it was an unfounded fear." Frost scoffed. "I am the only one here that has a vested interest in her happiness and well being; none of you were willing to help her when she needed you. When I first woke up I was disoriented and not sure who or what I was. Luckily Savitar showed up, otherwise we would be locked up in A.R.G.U.S. being used for the Suicide Squad or worse. Anyways, back to the point."

Caitlin and Killer Frost looked Nora in the eye, one eye blue, one eye brown, hair slowly darkening back into brown.

"When you mess with the timeline, you are manipulating and in some cases ruining peoples lives. Barry has actually erased someone from the timeline. John and Lyla Diggle had a daughter named Sara, but after Flashpoint, she was erased and replaced by John Junior."

Nora looked like Frost had just kicked her puppy, but she needed to know. Just thinking of it now made Caitlin sick to her stomach. Sara, if Caitlin could remember her, would likely have been the sweetest baby in the world. Unfortunately, she only remembered things in direct correlation to her own life.

"Now do you understand Nora?" Barry spoke up, eyes turning soft as he looked at his daughter. Job done, Caitlin stood, back in control. The younger woman nodded, tears running down her cheeks. Having come and said what she wanted the doctor turned to leave, but was suddenly stopped by a hand on her arm.

Barry stood behind her, face solemn. Caitlin's heart broke just the smallest bit, but Frost covered it with a sheet of ice, protecting her partner. Caitlin took a deep breath and asked,

"What Barry?" a touch of frost on her breath, emotions running high. She needed to get away and collect herself, to pull the icy pieces of herself back together. Behind him Iris stood awkwardly next to a still softly crying Nora.

"I think we need to talk." Caitlin shook her head, narrowing her eyes. Her body temperature dropped even more, chilling the air around her.

"Not right now. Take care of your family first."

"You are family too Cait." Barry sounded like a broken record, and it took everything she had to not roll her eyes. Reminded Killer Frost of when he tried to break through to Caitlin, echoing every line and verse of the speech he gave, courtesy of Savitar.

"Not anymore. Iris and Nora are your family. I'm just a co-worker." A fake yawn split her face. "And we need to sleep. See you in the morning."

She was able to break his grasp easily, turning and walking away, heels clicking on the tile of the silent lab. She felt him watching her walk away, but she no longer cared. Caitlin had finally had enough at letting the green eyed speedster into her heart. She knew she was still capable of love and friendship because of how she felt for Cisco and Joe, but the little West-Allen family was beyond her care now. She was numb to them, almost painfully so. 

* * *

"I saw all of that." Cisco stated once Caitlin stepped out of the portal. "I have all of S.T.A.R.s security feeds coming here. That was a little harsh."

"They all needed to hear it." Caitlin said settling down onto the spare cot that was set up for her in the corner. "I've reached my limit of bullshit that screwing with the timeline creates. Iris is obtuse to the point of insanity, so wrapped up in 'destiny'. Then Barry doesn't know how to convey how serious it is to mess with the timeline. I figured a physical demonstration would help get it through Nora's thick head."

"Even though you look like Caitlin, I would swear I'm talking to Killer Frost." Cisco shook his head. "I really need to make you that body Killer Frost, you're turning Caitlin into you."

"I - we haven't really had time to talk about it yet." Caitlin admitted. "It would be nice to have my body back, but I would miss having powers."

"Would there be a way to imprint our powers into Caitlin and then just copy them over to the new body?" Frost asked out loud. "Basically just copy the structure and then implant my mind into the new body? That way we both have powers."

"It's a possibility, but I won't know until I begin the process. Once I begin, there's no going back." Cisco warned. "There is a possibility that one or both of you will be lost once we begin the neural transfer."

There was several moments of silence as each woman pondered their options. Cisco let them be, knowing that they would let him know when they had decided. Caitlin wanted to have her own body back, to feel normal like she used to. She also didn't want to risk losing Killer Frost though, having fought so hard to get her back. Killer Frost wanted her own body, hating that she was unconscious more often than not. She wanted to be in control all the time, to have a real life. In her own body she would still be able to protect Caitlin, it would just be in a more physical way.

"I'm willing to try and see if I can have my own body." Killer Frost spoke up first. "As long as you can promise that Caity won't be hurt in any way."

"I can't promise that there won't be discomfort during the procedure, considering this has never been done before." Cisco replied honestly, dark eyes solemn. "But I do promise to do my very best."

"Very well, that will have to do breacher." Killer Frost moved into the background, letting Caitlin come forward.

"I think I want to try." Caitlin nodded. "It's a risk, but living a half life like we are is no way to really have a life. One thing though; this stays between the three of us. NO ONE on Team Flash can know what we are doing."

"Agreed."

In the meantime Caitlin and Killer Frost commuted back and forth between the two locations. Days were spent with the team while nights were spent working on how to manufacture a body for Killer Frost. Team Flash finally had a win; the cure worked, removing Cicadas powers. Cisco had already been without his powers for several weeks. There were no side effects to the powers being eliminated, and Cisco was perfectly healthy to continue his work in secret. Orlan Dwyer unfortunately passed away from the wounds he received that turned him into a meta, his niece passing a few days later. Her mental link to her uncle was severed when Dwyer was given the cure, so her link to life was cut as well.

It was a bittersweet celebration for the team. They stopped the bad guy, but dozens of people had to die in the process. Up until this point, any body count had been kept to a minimum, but Devoe and now Cicada had upped the stakes. No longer were they just fighting for their lives, but the lives of the people in Central City.

Barry took it especially hard. He always wanted to protect life, to make sure that no one was hurt. Between Devoe and Dwyer though, nearly 50 people had been murdered, each one for no reason other than they had powers. Powers that were either coveted or despised. Caitlin stayed around enough for the others to not grow suspicious, but it was getting close to time for the neural transfer.

"I am officially taking a vacation." Caitlin announced one Friday morning once everyone had arrived at the lab. "I am going to take a cab to the airport and just go somewhere for a week. No phones, no work, nothing. Killer Frost and I need a break."

"No phones?" Iris asked. "Doesn't that seem a little extreme?"

"Oh no." Ralph interjected. "You cannot take a vacation. The minute you do all hell is going to break loose. It's Karma."

"That's superstition and has no place in a scientific lab." Caitlin shook her head before pointing her hand at Ralph, ice blooming into a sword. "And so help me, if you interfere with my vacation, I will cut something off that will not grow back."

"Woah, Caitlin." Barry scolded. "That sounds more like something Killer Frost would say, not you."

"How do you know it's not me handsome?" Killer Frost replied with a cold smirk. "Caity wants a vacation and so do I. You will live without us for a week."

"You can switch back and forth that quick?" Barry asked, suddenly wary. The whole team stared at her with different levels of shock. Apparently none of them had been paying close enough attention to realize the near constant back and forth between the personalities. It made Caitlin sad, but also didn't surprise her that no one noticed the changes.

"Yep." Frost popped her P.

"Seriously though, I NEED a break. Otherwise I'm just gonna let Killer Frost take over full time." Caitlin pleaded. "It's quiet, the perfect time for me to go. I'll be back before you know it."

"Safe travels then Dr. Snow." Sherloque smiled at her and tipped his hat, tone suggesting he knew more than he was willing to let on. "Return to us rested and refreshed."

"Thank you, and I will." Caitlin stood and collected her car keys. "I'll see you guys later."

Everyone called out their goodbyes and Caitlin took off without a backwards glance. She drove her car back to her apartment, and once inside her residence, she opened a portal to the Tannhauser site. Next time she came home, she would be herself once again.


	3. Chapter 3

"Are you ready to do this?" Cisco asked as Caitlin stared down at the motionless body in the cradle before her. It was a perfect replica of her, except with Killer Frost's features. She looked almost like she had when she first appeared. Classic and gothic white, blue black lips and sapphire shading to her eyes. She wore a black bodysuit, sleek and trim, her snowflake emblem on the chest. The only thing missing was Killer Frost herself.

"Impressive. I look exactly the way I wanted to. No more silver and purple for me." Frost murmured in Caitlin's mind. It was one of the last times that Caitlin would hear it that way. After this, she would hear it with her own ears, not just her mind.

"Are you ready to be your own person?" Caitlin asked softly, stomach a knot of nerves.

"Yes and no." Was the honest reply.

"Now you know," Cisco spoke up, drawing their attention to him. "This procedure may leave echoes of each of you within the other. It will be like the twin syndrome that has been documented. There will still be a link between you, but it will be more metaphysical than anything."

"Good." Caitlin replied. "I wouldn't want to completely sever every tie we have."

"Neither would I." Frost added. "I need to make sure Caity's safe, even when I have my own body."

"I guess we're ready to go then." Cisco moved to the empty cradle and opened the lid. "You'll be given an anesthetic to relax and fall into a deep sleep. After that the program will map your neural pathways and replicate them into the new body. Then it will link both minds and begin the transfer of electrical signals that are Killer Frost, but leave behind the ones that are Caitlin Snow."

Caitlin's heart was racing as she settled into the surprisingly comfortable machine. Say what you will, Cisco Ramone knows how to make his tech comfortable. Caitlin was afraid that being shut into the cradle would make her feel like being locked into a coffin, but the top and upper sides were blessedly clear, the glass smooth as crystal. There was a slight hiss as a light gas filled the chamber, lulling her to sleep.

"Sweet dreams Caity." Killer Frost whispered. "When we wake up we'll be able to see each other face to face."

Darkness swallowed Caitlin as she fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

While the cradles did their work, Cisco stood guard. He monitored every little moment and movement. He was glad that they had planned for Caitlin to take a 'vacation' for a week. This would give them uninterrupted time to complete the ground breaking procedure. Team Flash thinks that she's off somewhere with her phone turned off. In reality, Cisco spooked her phone to make it say she was across the country in Washington D.C. and attending various scientific lectures. The team also were willing to leave him alone as well, now that his powers were gone and he had stated that he wanted to move on from S.T.A.R. to be an independent consultant.

He hated that they had to do this in secret, but they had agreed that if the rest of the team knew, it would lead to complications. Just like everything that involves the team. Some bad guy would find out and try to kill them while they were incapacitated, or the team would try to wake them early because of an emergency. He also kept a check on the team through the security feeds, making sure they weren't trying to find them until they were ready to be found.

The neural mapping and transfer was slow, each one taking about 24 hours to complete, but it was worth it. Besides, Cisco Ramone had gone longer than two days without sleep before, and he'd probably do it again in the future. Halfway through the third day, the cradles beeped softly, signalling the transfer was complete. The awakening protocols began, both chambers being vented of knockout gas and having clean oxygen pumped in. Two hours later, Caitlin was the first one to wake up.

Caitlin woke slowly, a little dizzy from having been asleep for so long. She also felt a little stiff from having been in one position for so long. Once she was fully awake the lid to the cradle opened softly, pulling back and giving her room to sit up and look around. Beside her, Killer Frost breathed deeply, slowly, new body still waking up.

"Here, you could use this." Cisco handed her a protein shake, vanilla flavored. "You have been out long enough that you need a quick infusion of nutrients and carbs before you can get up and about. I've got another one lined up for Frost when she wakes up."

"Strawberry, right?" Caitlin asked, knowing the other woman prefered that flavor.

"Yep."

Caitlin drank slowly, even though she was ravenous. She knew that if she drank too fast her system would overload and she would crash. Together they watched Killer Frost slowly come awake. It only took about another half hour before the second chamber opened. Ice blue eyes fluttered open, head turning to look at the two people standing beside her cradle. Wordlessly, Cisco handed her the protein drink.

"How do you feel?" Caitlin asked Killer Frost gently, not sure how to go about addressing her other half now that they were seperated.

"Quiet." Her voice was similar to Caitlin's, but had a slightly deeper tone. No more echo from having two voices talking at the same time. "Peaceful. Aware."

"Did your powers transfer as well?" Cisco asked, stepping back so the cold queen could climb out of her resting place. Mist formed around her hands, freezing the last little bit of the drink in her hand.

"What about you Caitlin?" Slowly, ice crept up the back of her hand from her palm.

"I can use them, but I'll need practice. Without Killer Frost in me, I don't know how to use them."

"And that is why you will be training together." Cisco nodded. "Once we're home and let them know what happened, of course."

"That's one conversation I'm not looking forward to." Killer Frost muttered, and Caitlin nodded her head in agreement.

"I'll go with the two of you; I'm sure they are going to have questions for me as well." Cisco added, the three of them feeling like a little family.

* * *

Sunday evening Caitlin and Killer Frost took a portal back to the doctors apartment, ready to spend the night in a real bed. Luckily Caitlin's apartment was a two bedroom set up, so Killer Frost would had her own place within Caitlin's world. When Frost was in control, this was the room where she kept her clothes and any items she cared to collect when she was awake. There were even a few mementos of her time with Savitar. For Killer Frost, it was nice to be able to look at the few snapshot of the two of them and know that the same woman was looking back at her. As Frost went about tidying up her room, Caitlin set about making supper.

Caitlin felt peace for the first time in years. She felt whole, and empty at the same time. She felt like her old self, but she also had a melancholy sense that she was missing something. It reminded her a bit of how she'd felt when Ronnie died the first time. She was Caitlin Snow, but she wasn't totally complete. At the same time though, she somehow knew that Killer Frost was experiencing similar emotions, though these were tied to Savitar. The doctor knew that Killer Frost had developed deep emotions for the troubled Barry Allen duplicate, thanks to her own feelings regarding the real Barry Allen. She just never realized the depths.

There were echoes of fear and pain, however, it was the echoes of passion and desire that knocked Caitlin off her feet. All she got were emotional impressions, but Caitlin knew that the two of them must have shared something far deeper than just being comrades. Caitlin desperately tried to shut off the flow of emotions, but it was difficult. Tentatively she knocked on the door to Frost's room.

"Frost, are you ok?"

"Yeah." The other woman replied with a sniffle as she opened the door. "Just getting used to being in my own body, and dealing with my own emotions. Life was so much duller when I was inside you. You buffered me from quite a lot of things."

"Well, come eat. Food always makes me feel better." Caitlin smiled at her doppleganger. The two women settled into the dining room, the tv glowing softly in the background. Luckily Caitlin and Frost both enjoyed the History Channel, often leaving the tv on and going about their routine when they were home.

"How are we going to handle tomorrow?" Frost finally asked, not afraid to take the bull by the horns.

"I'm not sure." Caitlin shook her head. "I know Cisco will be there for us, but I was thinking that all three of us should go in together. After all, we are the ones who agreed to the procedure and he's the one who thought it up. To be on the safe side though, I would wear just casual clothes, something relaxed."

"Something non threatening, you mean." Frost snarked, nodding her head. "I can see how Iris would get pretty bent out of shape of I showed up in my old outfit. I do love that outfit though."

"The one Savitar bought us?"

"That's the one." Frost smiled gently, eyes glazing over for a moment. "I felt like a goddess in that outfit. Unstoppable. In the end though, it wasn't meant to be."

"Not right then." Caitlin agreed. "But now, with you having your own body, there's nothing holding you back. You could even become a villain again if you wanted."

That was one fear that Caitlin had in the back of her mind. Without her to guide Killer Frost, the cold woman just might decide to live up to her name. It was easy to go bad; she remembered when it happened to her. She could only hope that with Frost having been exposed to her for so long, that some of her morals rubbed off on the cold meta.

"Please, and have the echoes of you in my head lecturing me about how it's not right and I am better than that? No, thank you. I'll stick with being an anti-hero for now."

"Well, if you do decide to go bad, give me a heads up? That way I can steer clear of the whole thing." Caitlin laughed along with Frost, the two of them glad for the quiet time before the storm. They both knew tomorrow was going to be tough, but they were in for a surprise.


	4. Chapter 4

"Good morning my lovely ladies!" Cisco chirped bright and early the next morning. "I have even taken the liberty of stopping by Jitters for fuel and java."

Caitlin daintily nibbled on her butter croissant while Frost munched on a blueberry muffin almost the size of her face. Both women liked their coffee black, one sugar, two creamers. Cisco drove them in Caitlin's mint green Ford Fusion, that way Caitlin wouldn't have to rely on the extrapolater to get home. While both women looked calm on the outside, inside they were just a mass of nerves. They were both ready to get the day over with.

Caitlin wore one of her darker red sheath dresses and nude pumps, going for a more subdued and severe look, while Killer Frost wore black boots, black pants and a sky blue sweater that matched her eyes. They wanted to set the stage for their return, the doctor and the meta. Cisco, bless his heart, was just along for the ride. The women linked arms and walked behind Cisco as they entered the lab. They could hear voices from the lobby, and they knew everyone was already there for the day. In unison the woman looked at each other before stepping into the cortex behind Cisco.

"Cisco, man!" Ralph was the first to greet them, completely obnoxious and over the top, not seeing the two women behind the ex meta. "Glad to see you back. Changed your mind about leaving?"

"Nope, just came by to drop these two off." Cisco stepped aside and the whole team fell silent.

Caitlin knew he heart was racing as she moved forward, Killer Frost mirroring her steps. Everyone was shocked. The one she was most concerned about was Barry. As Caitlin's eyes panned over the group, her eyes caught on Nora's and the panic she read in them. Instant warning signs went up. Something wasn't right, but now was not the time to dig. Beside her, Iris looked impassive, frozen into a state of apathy. She was beyond caring what happened to anyone other than herself. She had always been that way, but now she was finally showing it where people could see. Past her was Barry, but what she saw broke her already fragile heart.

There was anger in his eyes, a frown on his face. He looked like they had done something wrong, and he was about to scold them for it. Caitlin couldn't understand why. He'd been wanting to keep Caitlin herself when she was losing control to Killer Frost, but now that they were two people, he looked almost disappointed. The two women glanced at each other again and broke apart, both of them moving to stand on either side of Cisco.

"What the hell is going on Cisco?" Iris demanded in her usual snarky and bored tone. "Did you go to another earth and grab another Caitlin doppelganger?"

"Aww, so you aren't happy to see me?" Frost drawled, snarking right back, fake pout on her face. "After all, we've been on the same side for the last few years."

"Frost?" Ralph asked. "Is that you?"

"In the flesh, thanks to Vibe here." The white haired woman rolled her eyes when Cisco cleared his throat. "Sorry, Cisco."

"How did this happen?" Barry found his voice, breaking away from the others to stand in front of Caitlin. His tone was harsh and bitter, more wounded sounding than anything Caitlin had heard. There was also accusation in his tone, eyes dark and a frown on his face. "Is that where you were when you took your vacation? Letting Cisco experiment on you in secret?"

"Hey!" Cisco got all up in Barry's face, indignation in his tone. "I'll have you know Caitlin and I have been spending weeks researching different topics in relation to the split, so we were are prepared as we could possibly be."

"Weeks?" Sherloque inquired. "Is that why you went offsite? To work without interruption?"

"Yes, but not just on our split, he - we - did work on the meta cure first. It was always our priority." Caitlin stepped into the fray, ready to defend her best friend and brother, as well as her sister if needed. "The thought of Killer Frost and I splitting was just thrown out as a 'what if'."

"In the end we decided to try it." Frost shrugged, eyes glinting blue, ice white hair a stark contrast to Caitlin's warm brown. "It wasn't fair to either one of us to try and live a half life, always bound to the other."

"Especially for you." Iris sounded almost jealous. Caitlin and Frost exchanged a raised eyebrow as everyone turned to look at the dark skinned woman. "After all; you depended on Caitlin to survive, to keep you in check. Now that you have your own body, who knows what kind of damage you'll do."

"IRIS!" Barry called her name, turning to look at his wife with lightning in his eyes. Now that was pure anger. Caitlin had seen it before, but never aimed at one of them, especially Iris.

"What? You know it's true. Killer Frost is evil and there is nothing that will change that."

"I prefer to think of myself as a firm anti-hero." Frost drawled in her usual lazy tone. Caitlin knew she did it on purpose to rile the other woman. Was it wrong of her to enjoy her former other half needle the 'reporter'? Nope.

"Anti-hero?" Nora asked, eyes big as they darted around the room. To Caitlin it looked like she thought Savitar would pop out of the shadows at any second, or worse yet, Zoom.

"That's right. I'll fight on the side of good, but I'm not afraid to get a little blood on my outfit. I do what needs to be done when the good guys can't afford to have their names tarnished."

"Honestly, I'm glad that she's around full time now." Caitlin spoke up, crossing her arms and glaring at Barry. "That way I can be here, in the lab, doing what I'm supposed to be doing. At the same time though, I know that you still have Frost's powers to back you up in the field."

"With practice, you could go back out into the field as well." Cisco bumped Caitlin's shoulder, sly grin on his face. He knew that they were slowly feeding the others all the info regarding the two women and how they came about their split.

"What practice?" Barry asked, stepping even closer to Caitlin. They were now almost face to face, closer than they have been in years. It made her wish they things were different, that Barry always stood this close. That was a different timeline though; in this one he was firmly in the grip of one Iris West-Allen.

"I still have my cold powers." Caitlin lifted her chin defiantly, only to see something flash across Barry's face. Relief? His bottle green eyes softened and he nodded.

"Good." HIs voice had gentled the way it usually was pitched when he spoke to her, soft and indulgent. "I won't have to worry about leaving you here defenseless."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Iris demanded, moving to stand between Caitlin and Barry, looking back and forth between the two of them. Caitlin merely raised an eyebrow at the other woman, knowing she didn't have to explain herself to anyone.

Parts of Caitlin were still Frost-like, and her personality was one of them. The other woman had a fearlessness about her that had rubbed off on Caitlin. Before Caitlin has been a somewhat reserved person who deterred to more demanding personalities, now she wasn't afraid to stand her ground. Now that she had more confidence in herself and the knowledge that she would still be able to hold her own in a fight, she wasn't about to back down when Iris threw a temper.

"Face it Iris, out of the two women in Barry's life, who has been used against him more?" Frost stirred the pot a little harder. "Who has more leverage in his life? His wife, or the only person who knows how his physiology works and understands his powers better than him?"

"Why you Frosty bitch!" Iris raised her hand to strike Killer Frost when several things happened at once. Barry grabbed Iris's arms to keep her in place. Caitlin and Killer Frost lifted their hands, cool mist fogging around them. Most surprising of all though was Cisco, who had his hand raised and glowing blue, just a foot away from the side of Iris's head.

"Woah! Everyone calm down!" Joe shouted. Everyone took a deep breath and stepped back, Caitlin, Frost and Cisco on one side of the room with Barry and Iris in the middle. Joe, Ralph, Sherloque, Nora and Joe stood on the other side of the room.

"Cisco, I thought you got rid of your powers?" Joe asked, confused. So was Caitlin; she was with Cisco when he injected himself with the cure.

"Just because I got rid of my powers doesn't mean I don't have the tech to replicate it for when it's needed." Cisco opened his palm to reveal a device more oblong in shape compared to the extrapolater, but otherwise looked exactly the same.

"You would use that weapon against Iris?" Barry scolded, but took a half step back when the long haired ex-meta looked at him, eyes fierce.

"Hell, I'd use it against you Barry if you ever threaten my girls in any way."

Caitlin couldn't hold back a soft smile, so very glad to have the man she considered her brother on the side of her and Frost. She knew Cisco was potentially burning a lot of bridges, but she also knew that in order for the team to grow, they would need to go through issues like this. Beside her, Frost smiled as well, blue eyes soft.

"Your girls?" Sherloque inquired, voice breaking the tension in the air.

"I've always considered Caitlin to be my sister. Frost is her twin, so she's my sister too." Cisco shrugged. "They have been through enough hell in the last few years to last anyone their entire lives, so yes, I am a smidge over protective."

Caitlin sighed and decided to move on with the day. She stepped away from the group of people, heels clicking on the tile floor. Easily she sidestepped Barry and Iris, waving a dismissive hand in their direction. She continued on, feeling the eyes of Barry and the others on her. Frost followed with one of her typical smirky sneers.

"We've got some more tests to run, so if you need either of us, we'll be in Caity's lab." Frost waved and disappeared down the corridor behind Caitlin.

* * *

Later that afternoon there was a meta call, basic mop up of a random bad guy. Frost decided to join Barry, Nora and Ralph in the field, to test how they worked together. Cisco was at the main console, monitoring things while Caitlin continued her tests. She was comparing her blood and genetic material from before the split to now, to see how the cloning and neural transfer changed her in any way. Outside her lab she heard the click of heels, and knew that Iris was approaching her lab. Caitlin sighed, pulling her concentration away from her research, even though she kept her eyes trained on the screens in front of her.

"Caitlin?" Iris knocked on the doorframe of her lab. "Can I talk to you?"

"Sure Iris." Caitlin did her best to keep her tone even. She turned in her chair to look at the other woman, waiting to see what she had to say.

"I wanted to apologize for earlier this morning." Iris perched on one of the other chairs in the lab, sitting for all the world like a scolded child who was forced to make an insincere apology. "I guess you can say I reacted badly to the news that you and Killer Frost split."

"Why did you react the way you did?" Caitlin honestly wanted to know. "Yes, she did some bad things when Savitar first arrived, but she's more than made up for it over the last few years."

"She's just a reminder of a time when I was scared, more scared than I had ever been before." Iris replied with a shrug, but Caitlin knew there was more to it than that. Time to poke the lion and see if she got any bites.

"Are you sure?" Caitlin said in her best doctor voice, gentle and unassuming. Iris folded her hands together and stared at the floor a bit before beginning to speak.

"Back when Barry first got his powers, you, Cisco and Wells were the only ones who knew what was going on. I could tell that there was something off, but I could never place my finger on it. When Barry began mentioning you, I thought that maybe he had found someone who he could be with."

Caitlin's heart did a little leap, remembering how Barry had worked his way past her defenses quickly, becoming a fast friend. Then when Hannibal Bates kissed her wearing Barry's face, Caitlin's small crush became a secret infatuation. One that lasted to this day.

"He always seemed to light up a little bit when talking about you. When Zoom took you, he was devastated in a way I had never seen him before. I told him then of my feelings for him, hoping to take his mind off of his worries about you. I only partially succeeded. He was with me, but his mind was on you."

Caitlin didn't know what to say to that. She knew that Barry had been worried, but she never would have imagined that Iris would be jealous of her. Iris was Barry's perfect ideal, the one woman who he held in the highest regard. No other woman could hold a candle to the love of his childhood. Not even a woman who had more in common with the man he was now compared to the man he had been.

"After we got you back, things seemed to return to normal. Then he created Flashpoint and everything changed. You got powers, I got a brother, and Barry found out that his Time Remnant from his fight with Zoom was trying to kill me and everyone else."

"Yeah, I can see how things would get crazy." Caitlin cocked an eyebrow, not really sympathetic. "After all, it's not like I wasn't going out of my mind with fear and losing grip on who I was."

Iris winced at that, but glossed past it. As she continued to speak, Caitlin wondered how someone could be so selfish. Yes, she had a traumatic experience, but so did Caitlin.

"Seeing you, one of my friends, side with the man who was trying to kill me hurt. Watching Barry fight one of his best friends was horrible. Then you just turned your back on us at HR's funeral and didn't come back once you realized Barry had gone into the Speed Force. We needed you then, but you didn't come back."

"I'm sorry Iris, I really am, that you think you are the only one who suffered during that time. That you think your life is more important than anyone else's. Did you stop to think how it hurt Cisco, living with the knowledge that if you lost, he would lose his hands up to the middle of his forearms thanks to me?" Caitlin didn't care anymore about sugar coating things, and she failed to see the glimpse of red outside her doorway.

"How about the fear that not only would Barry lose you, but me and himself as well? My fear that I was becoming the woman who terrorized Barry and me on Earth-2? That I was losing myself over to a power mad and cold woman who cared for nothing and no one?"

Shock was written all over Iris's face, tiny tears leaking out of her eyes. Part of Caitlin hated herself for causing anyone pain, but she knew she needed to clear the air with the woman who claimed she was the 'leader' of Team Flash. Please, more like the West-Allen show and sidekicks.

"But that isn't why you reacted the way you did, is it? I get the feeling that there is a bigger reason you hate Frost and dislike me."

"Fine. It's the way Savitar looked at you, with devotion and passion. Barry has never once looked at me that way. Savitar called you his Queen and gave you everything. Barry treats you different than everyone else, speaks to you in a way that he doesn't do with anyone else. Barry may love me, but he desires you."

Caitlin was floored. There really wasn't anything she could say to that. She sat in her chair, white lab coat over a dress the same color as Barry's old suit, staring at the wife of the man she's secretly loved for years. Caitlin blinked a few times and then took a deep breath.

"Iris, there is no way that can be true." Caitlin denied even though it hurt her heart to admit it.

"Actually, it is." Barry stepped out of the shadows, making both women jump. Caitlin's heart was racing a mile a minute while tears rolled down Iris's face even more, red flags rising in her cheeks.

"What?" The other woman whispered, standing to face her husband. Barry pulled back the cowl of his suit, face sad yet relieved.

"I do care for Caitlin, far more than I should." Barry admitted, refusing to look at Caitlin, eyes trained on his wife. "Something about her keeps pulling at me, calling to me. I've chosen to ignore it and follow my devotion to you instead. You are my wife Iris, but I think Caitlin is my soul."

Caitlin couldn't move. She was frozen in place, mind too numb to even think. She felt like she was trapped in a Twilight Zone episode. She was waiting for something, but she didn't know what. Frost decided to waltz in right then, breaking the moment.

"So, are we finally having that heart to heart, getting all the feelings and emotions out?"

"What are you talking about?" Iris asked, turning to look at the cold woman.

"Savitar told me that this happened in one of the timelines he visited." Frost shrugged, waving her hands at the screens before her. "He saw a timeline where Caitlin and I were able to split into individual people. He told me that in that timeline is where Barry would eventually confess his feelings for Caitlin, and that they would go on to do great things for S.T.A.R. and for science. I thought after his death, and with the timeline readjustment, that that future was lost to my Caity. Now though, I see that it is alive and well."

"So you knew how I felt about Caitlin?" Barry asked quietly. "That I would end up breaking Iris's heart?"

"Yes, and no." Frost answered solemnly, eyes sapphire dark and serious. "In that timeline Iris meets someone, someone who she knows even now. Eventually that man becomes the man she falls in love with and marries."

"Who?" Iris asked, hope in her eyes. Frost tsked at her.

"Now you know I can't tell you that, or I run the risk of messing up the timeline." Frost turned on her heel and began to walk out, tossing over her shoulder,

"I've done my part, the rest is up to you."


	5. Chapter 5

After Frost left Barry coaxed Iris away from Caitlin's lab, wanting to speak to his wife alone. Caitlin was still slightly numb from the news dropped on her by both Barry and Frost. She tried to concentrate on her tests, but her eyes were unfocused. Her mind was spinning so fast that she couldn't really form a singular thought. Instead Caitlin decided to clean her lab, making the clean surfaces shine in the overhead light. Eventually she found herself in a zen like state, no thoughts going through her head, just focused on the task at hand. It was an inner quiet that she hadn't had since Killer Frost began manifesting all those years ago.

She was so lost in her own head that she jumped when someone cleared their throat, ice dagger flying out of her hand to hit the wall a few feet from where Barry stood. Blood rushed to her cheeks and Caitlin dropped her gaze to the floor. She waited to hear what Barry had to say, afraid of her heart shattering a bit more.

"Your aim needs a little work, but that icicle looks pretty sharp." Barry spoke gently, like he always did around her.

"I'm surprised I was even able to make one. My powers have been going in and out ever since Frost and I seperated." Caitlin replied, keeping her eyes averted as she sat back down in her chair in front of her work station. Beside her, monitors of her research and tests still continued to glow with information.

"About that; I wanted to apologize for how I reacted." Barry settled himself into the chair Iris has been sitting in just a few hours ago. "I was disappointed that you didn't come to me with the idea for the two of you to split, or to at least let me know that you were thinking of it. I could have been there to help Cisco."

"You were needed here Barry." Caitlin finally looked up, seeing Barry dressed in his usual casual attire. "Central City couldn't afford to have you missing in action for a week. The procedure took 4 days to complete. Then Frost and I took the other 3 days to get used to not sharing the same mental space, but now sharing the same physical space. It was best that only Cisco knew. Otherwise we would have had too many voices and opinions interfering with our healing and rebonding."

"How do you feel now that you are apart?" Barry asked, leaning forward in his seat. He seemed genuinely interested, so Caitlin decided to open up a bit and let him in.

"Like myself again. My thoughts are my own and my mind is quiet. I feel like I always have, confident and in control." Caitlin turned to look at the monitors, waving a hand at them. "According to these, my powers were written into my DNA, so there's no way to be rid of them. Now that Killer Frost has her own body, I will need to learn how to use them. Killer Frost always seemed to just know how. I've to go learn that from her."

"It's good to have you back, and to know it's you I'm talking to and not Frost." Barry leaned back and crossed his arms. "Speaking of, why did you let her take control as often as she did?"

"It was just easier that way." Caitlin shrugged, debating on how much she should reveal. "When I got overwhelmed, it's just easier for me to step back and let her have control. When there are situations I didn't want to handle, interactions that make me uncomfortable, I hid behind her. Now though, I don't have anywhere or anyone to hide behind anymore."

"How often did you hide from me?" That was one of the questions she didn't want to answer, but she forced herself to anyways. There was no inflection in his tone, but his eyes were sad and disappointed.

"More than you realize." Caitlin looked down at her hands, at her perfectly painted scarlet nails to match her dress, the color a reminder of Barry's old suit, of a time when things were simpler.

"Why, Cait?" God, she loved how he said her name. So gentle and sweet.

"Things had changed so much between us over the years that it hurt to see how we'd grown apart. Then once you and Iris got engaged, I seriously considered leaving. I was actually booking a flight to leave town the night the girls drug me into their bachelorette party. I was forced to go and then forced to stay thanks to Amunet and DeVoe."

She took a deep breath and looked up at Barry, only to see sadness in his eyes. Disappointment too. Time to press on.

"Then Nora showed up, and I decided to stay a little longer. Something wasn't sitting right with me leaving when a new speedster showed up, even if she is your daughter. But now that I'm free of Killer Frost, I can leave knowing that you have Frost here who can help keep the team safe."

"Leave?" Barry sounded hurt. "Both you and Cisco are going to leave me, leave the team?"

"I don't want to." Caitlin felt tears gather in her eyes, throat tight. "I have to."

Barry flashed into a kneeling position before her, hands wrapping around hers, holding her in place. Caitlin's mind flashed back to the night that Zoom had let her go after he lied to her about Barry's death. That night she had felt her heart shatter, and she knew it was because she loved Barry, more than she had ever loved Ronnie.

"Why?" Barry demanded gently, face earnest. "Tell me why Caitlin."

"Because I love you Barry Allen." She whispered, closing her eyes and letting her tears fall. "I love you but you don't love me. I can't keep ripping my heart into pieces. I need to leave while there is still something of me left."

Suddenly Caitlin's head was tipped back, warm lips settling over hers. She gasped, and Barry took the opportunity to really kiss her. Frost gathered under her palms where she gripped the arms of her chair, lips moving against the speedsters slowly. Her heart was racing and her head was spinning. Warmth was filling her, even as warning bells rang in the back of her mind. Every part of her wanted to ignore the warning and fall completely into Barry, to drown in his warmth. She moved to raise her hands to wrap them around his neck when she felt her arms jerk.

Opening her eyes and breaking the kiss she looked down in shock. Her hands and forearms were covered in ice, the arms of her chair encased in the white substance as well. She jerked her hands again, but they were frozen fast to the seat. Barry laid his hands over hers and vibrated, breaking the ice away. Immediately his big hands wrapped around hers, warming them up. Shame burned her cheeks and Caitlin pulled her hands out of his grasp, crossing them across her body defensively. She was unable to look at Barry, afraid of what she would see, scared of hoping for more than she should.

"Look at me Cait." Barry's voice was close, but she shook her head, eyes closed tight as more tears fell. "C'mon Caitlin."

"No."

"Why not?" She could still feel the warmth radiating from him, begging her to give in.

"Because you're a married man!" Caitlin shouted, standing up and shoving him back with a blast of cold air.

The room fell silent as the two of them stood on opposite ends, Caitlin with her fists clenched, Barry with his hands open and pleading. Neither one was going to back down on this, Caitlin especially. She's gone for this long without giving in and she sure as hell wasn't about to cave now. Ice burned in her veins, similar to the fire she first felt when transforming into Killer Frost. This time, however, her mind stayed clear and her thoughts were her own.

"Dad? Aunt Caitlin?" Nora's voice broke the silence like a gunshot, making Caitlin jump. Turning she saw the younger woman standing in the doorway, a guilty look on her face. Barry took a deep breath and turned to his daughter.

"What's wrong Nora?" Even now, he still spoke gently to his daughter. A daughter that may no longer exist soon. That thought broke Caitlin's heart, and hardened her resolve not to give in to Barry.

"I need to tell you something. Something about your future and my past." Nora stepped into the lab slowly. "But I need the both of you to hear what it is." She looked at Caitlin. "Especially you Aunt Cait."

"Ok." Caitlin motioned for her to sit down as she pulled her own chair from the corner where it had been shoved to during the cold blast. Once they were all sitting down in a loose circle Barry said,

"You wanted to tell us something. What is it?"

"First off, don't get mad at mom for what I'm about to tell you, ok?" Nora begged her dad. Caitlin tilted her head. Nora must not really know Barry if she thinks he'll stay mad at her for anything.

"A few years from now, in my timeline, you and Caitlin are dating." Barry glanced at Caitlin, hope and confusion in his eyes. Caitlin raised an eyebrow, a silent shrug.

"At first mom took it pretty hard. In my timeline you never marry her, you just date her for a long time. She felt like you were about to propose to her when you ended up breaking up with her to be with Caitlin." Nora rubbed her face, eyes already red from crying. "I wanted you and mom to have a happy ending, not the ending you get in my timeline."

"But if you say I'm with Caitlin, doesn't that mean that I'm happy there too?" Barry sounded hurt and confused. Caitlin's heart hurt seeing Nora crying the way she was, but part of her was secretly glad that she got to be with Barry in the end. According to Nora at any rate.

"You and Aunt Caitlin are happy, but it takes mom a long time before she finds someone to make her happy."

"How do you fit into all of this Nora?" Caitlin asked, genuinely curious.

"By the time Mom figured out she was pregnant with me, you had already proposed to Caitlin."

That shocked Caitlin so much that she felt her fingers beginning to ice over. Barry, sensing her distress, reached over and touched the back of her hand, reminding her to calm herself down. Nodding she took a deep breath. He then looked and Nora and asked,

"If I was with Caitlin, how did I end up getting Iris pregnant? Something must have happened for me to not stay with your mother if we were expecting a child."

"Remember the serum you had at your bachelor party?"

"Kinda hard to forget. Caitlin made it where I could finally stay drunk more than just a few minutes." Barry grinned back at his doctor, smile crooked and slightly wicked.

"Well, in my timeline, mom managed to get a hold of a vial and she got you drunk. You slept with her, and when you realized what happened, you basically told mom that you didn't want to have anything to do with her ever again. Nine months later, Caitlin delivered me here in S.T.A.R. Labs."

"What?" Caitlin asked, interest peaked. "Were you already showing signs of being a meta in the womb?"

"No, not at that time, but you all knew the possibility that things could happen that would be hard to explain. Like when Granny Cecil had Aunt Jenna, you felt it would be better for me to be born here." Nora explained. "Mom did what you asked, but she distanced herself from you once I was born. By the time I was old enough to get to know you Dad, you had already disappeared without a trace. Aunt Caitlin and Uncle Cisco wanted to train me when my powers manifested, but mom just wanted them gone, so she had Aunt Caitlin implant the dampener into me."

"That explains a lot about how you treated Iris when you first got here, but how did you make it to the past?" Barry finally got to the real question everyone had been wanting the answer to, the real answer to. "Even when I accidentally went back in time, it took a considerable amount of speed and concentration to do it. That was only one day. You came back over 20 years. That was no accident."

"Thawne."

Silence filled the room after that, Barry's hands curling into fists. Caitlin could feel the rage pouring off him in waves, seeing his body begin to vibrate slightly. She wondered how many times Barry would let him slip away before things got out of hand. Barry didn't want to kill, didn't like the thought of killing. But really, Thawne needs to die. Otherwise he's just keep sticking his nose into things and wrecking the timeline until nothing was left. In the back of her mind she called out to Frost, wondering if their connection was strong enough for the other woman to pick up.

"What's up babe?" Frost drawled. "You have been holed up with the two of them for a while."

"Do you wanna live up to your name?"

"Who do I need to kill?"

"Thawne. Nora says he's the one who has helped her come back to the past."

"Get me close enough, and he'll be nothing but a puddle of water and blood."

"Aunt Cait, are you ok?" Nora's voice broke through, pulling Caitlin from her conversation with Killer Frost. Blinking Caitlin smiled at the two speedsters, enjoying seeing them together. Caitlin could only hope that maybe Nora could stay in this timeline, to live her life here instead of turning to dust once her timeline intersects with the timeline that they were on now.

"Yeah, I was just talking to Killer Frost."

"I thought that the two of you were split in two. How can you still talk to her?" Nora tilted her head, looking like a curious puppy.

"I was just asking if Killer Frost wanted to live up to her name." Caitlin smirked, but Barry looked concerned.

"Who do you want her to kill?" Barry asked, though Caitlin figured he had a good idea of who.

"Thawne, once and for all. He is the reason the timelines keep diverging and merging, changing." Caitlin replied. "Out of all of us, she's the one that will be the least affected by killing him."

"Are you sure Caitlin? That seems pretty extreme." Barry, bless his heart, was still so naive sometimes.

"He is the cause of all our problems, both good and bad. To be honest, there are more bad than good. However, he needs to be stopped. For good. Killer Frost is the only one of us to have ever stopped a speedster by killing them. She shattered what was left of Hunter Zolomon when he was the Black Flash wraith when he was coming after Savitar."

Barry and Nora shared a look, two speedsters communicating by look alone. It was subtle, but Caitlin could see that they were speed talking. It was when they moved so fast that it looked like they weren't even moving. She sat back and let them debate the answer, feeling Frost coming closer, ready to join them in figuring out how to stop Thawne permanently.

"You do have a point; he's responsible for me becoming the Flash. However he also murdered my mom and set into motion everything that has happened since that night. He does need to be stopped, and we've been shown that letting him live is a mistake every time." Barry sighed. "I just wish there was another way."

"There are two options." Frost stepped into the room, pulling the glass door shut behind her, closing the lab off from the rest of the team. "Either I kill him, or we figure out a way to strip him of his powers."

"Even then, he'd still be a threat. He is a certified genius. He was able to build all of this while pretending to be Wells." Caitlin replied. "He may be stripped of his powers, but he still has his mind. I'm sure he'd figure out a way to get the Speed Force back into his body. No. I vote he dies."

Barry sat still and quiet as he processed his thoughts. The three women in the room shared a look of expectation, all of them knowing that they couldn't push Barry into something he didn't think was right. He ran his hands through his hair with a sigh and looked up, resolve flashing through his eyes like lightning.

"Fine. Thawne dies." His voice was cold and hard as steel. "We need to figure out how to do it. The rest of the team needs to be in on the decision as well."

* * *

"We're gonna do what?" Ralph asked, the rest of the team assembled in the cortex. The only person who was missing was Iris, but Caitlin thought it was a blessing. She needed to step away from the team for a while, to gather her thoughts. Part of her was also glad that she was gone, meaning Barry's focus was on the mission, not his pissed off wife.

"Frost and I are going to travel with Nora into her future and kill Thawne." Barry replied evenly, looking everyone in the eye in turn. "This way, the largest of the threats to all of us is eliminated once and for all."

"That sounds crazy." Sherloque and Joe echoed at the same time, with Joe continuing, "Barry, you know what happens every time you mess with the timeline. From all that we have seen over the years, anything can disrupt the timeline. How will you know what you do there won't destroy this timeline?"

"I don't, but I have to have the faith that this timeline won't change. It shouldn't change. The only thing that would change is the future from here on out." Barry answered.

"You sure you're gonna be ok, just the two of you?" Cisco asked, placing updated tracking chips into both Frost and Nora's suits. He'd already updated Barry suit that morning. Even though his powers were gone, he couldn't quite make himself leave S.T.A.R. just yet.

"We'll be fine, I promise." Barry answered. Caitlin bit her lip, praying that everything would work out for them all. Maybe, once Thawne was eliminated, they would all get some peace and quiet for a bit.

"Shouldn't Iris be here for this?" Joe asked, looking around. Caitlin looked away, pretending to pull up something important on her tablet. Nora shifted guiltily. Barry winced but replied,

"Yes, but she also needs to focus on the Citizen right now. I don't want her worrying about me when there isn't anything she's able to do."

It was an honest cover story, but a thin one. Iris had been working on building her journalism for years, but she had been distracted lately by all the stuff going on at S.T.A.R., and it showed. Her blog slash newspaper was barely getting any traffic. She needed to work on things other than related to the Flash to get readers. He would always be her bread and butter, but there were other things going on in Central City besides the Flash.

"We'll be back before you know it Papa Joe." Nora smiled sweetly. Behind her Frost raised an eyebrow and rolled her eyes at the same time.

"Can we please get going." Frost snarked. "I'm ready to get some blood on my suit."

"Don't you dare!" Cisco chastised her. "Blood is never a good thing to try and wash out. You do that, and you are washing our own suit."

"Don't worry Cisco, I don't have to draw blood to kill anyone. It's just more fun that way." Frost's voice was diabolical and cold, echos of her true power lingering in her words.

"Ok then." Barry clapped his hands once. "Time to head down to the accelerator ring."

In a flash all three of the metas were gone, but Caitlin felt Barry press a quick kiss to her lips as they left, knowing no one would see. Everyone but Cisco. He caught the blush on her cheeks as she turned and went back to her lab. Caitlin heard the others split off for the day, some staying while others leaving. She know Cisco would come looking for her sooner or later.

Not five minutes had passed when the long haired man stepped into Caitlin's lab, shutting the door behind him. She turned and waited patiently.

"What the frack just happened in there?" Cisco demanded, eyes huge in his face. "Did I just see Barry plant a kiss on you?"

"Yes?" Caitlin answered with a question, still not sure of what was going on between them now that Barry seemed to have decided to try something with her. She was more confused now than she was before.

"Explain everything, now." Cisco planted himself in a chair and crossed his arms. Caitlin settled down as well, doing her best to explain to her friend what happened. Explained how Nora changed everything by coming back in time. Most of all, who she learned her skills from. Seriously, it was like they lived in a comic book sometimes considering all the crap they went through on a daily basis.

"That bastard needs to die." Cisco vented. "Barry needs to stop letting him get away, or letting him go."

"That's why I sent Frost with them. She'll finally finish the job that should have been done years ago when Eddie killed himself." Caitlin repiled, hearing a crackle of lightning in the distance. Apparently the team was back. She could only hope that they had been successful.

"So what about Iris?" Cisco lowered his voice, leaning in closer. "I would imagine she doesn't know how Barry feels."

"She does. She was there when Barry revealed that there was something that had always drawn him to me. He said that he picked Iris, but he wanted me. I honestly have no clue where to go from here." Caitlin sighed, rubbing her temples.

"The two of you need to cool off. Go home with Frost and get some rest. Let Barry handle Iris, if there even is anything for him to handle. You did nothing in this situation, so you shouldn't be the one to make the next move either."

Caitlin nodded, glad for Cisco's reasoning. It was early in the afternoon, but Caitlin figured she could do with some rest. Some space to figure out her heart and mind regarding Barry and his little bombshell. Somehow she managed to make it out of S.T.A.R. without anyone noticing she was gone. She drove to her favorite bistro, picked up something to eat for herself and then went home. It was nice to have the place to herself for a while, especially now that she was the only one living inside her head. Changing into her usual pajamas of yoga pants and a large sweater, Caitlin curled up in her favorite chair. She turned on Netflix and ate her lunch in peace. That evening when Frost came home, she found Caitlin asleep in the chair, Netflix having stopped playing after so long. With a smile the cold meta gently helped her doppleganger to bed before retiring herself.


	6. Chapter 6

Somehow, over the next week, Caitlin was able to avoid being alone with Barry. Between the regular bad guys and researching her new altered powers, there wasn't much down time. It helped that Caitlin no longer went out into the field, or needed to be ready at a moments notice. This allowed her to really focus on her research, picking up the threads of where she left off several years ago, thanks to Killer Frost first showing up and taking over her life. They had decided early on to research any and every meta power they came across, looking to see if it could be applied in the fields of science and medicine. Some have been beneficial, while others have not. It felt good for Caitlin to be back at work, doing what she really loved. Science.

"You skipped lunch again, didn't you?" Frost asked around mid afternoon, having come back from patrolling with the others. In her hand was a bag of Big Belly Burger.

"Sorry Frost, I lost track of time." Caitlin pulled back from her microscope and moved to her desk in the corner to eat. "I've just been engrossed in my work that I didn't even realize what time it was."

"At least you were able to get something done. Flash has been bugging me all day about you." Frost crossed her arms and grumbled. "I nearly shoved an icicle through his calf again to get him to shut up."

"Jeeze." Caitlin winced. "I've always known he could be single minded when it came to something, I just never expected to be on the receiving end of it."

"Well, to save my sanity and his life, I'm headed home before he gets back, otherwise I can't promise I won't hurt him." Frost rolled her eyes and turned to leave the lab.

"There's a roast in the slow cooker for supper. It should be ready in a few more hours if you don't want to get back out." Caitlin called with a smile.

"Thanks babe." Frost blew her a kiss. "See you at home Caity."

Silence fell over the lab once again as Caitlin ate in silence, shaking her head at the craziness that was her life. She was rooming with her anti-hero, split personality doppelganger who, thanks to science, had her own body. To top it all off, she had the same powers as Frost, just to a lesser degree. Then, apparently, the man she's been secretly in love with has feelings for her in return, even though he's married to another woman. Not to mention that his daughter from the future is in this time as well. Talk about messed up.

There was a light knock on the doorframe, making Caitlin look up. Barry stood in the doorway, dressed in civilian clothes. He looked almost shy, like the boy she used to know before he got jaded by years of fighting evil. It made Caitlin almost smile at seeing that old look on his face. Almost. Even though she was in love with him, it didn't mean that she was going to let him throw away his life with his wife and daughter without a fight.

"You need something Barry?" Caitlin asked. She stood and moved back to her microscope, fiddling with a few of the knobs, bringing the material on the slide into focus on the screen in front of her.

"I just wanted to see you. To see how you are doing after the split and being back at S.T.A.R. Labs." His voice was hesitant as he stepped over the threshold, looking at the images on the screen with interest.

"I'm doing good." Caitlin spared a glance at him before looking down at the tablet in her hand, reading off the numbers running across the screen. "My cells have re-stabilized after the split with a 68% cryogenic ratio. I have cold powers, but they aren't as strong as Frost's. Our genetic markers that my dad engineered have remained unchanged, so neither one of us will be susceptible to ALS in the future. Neurological testing shows that there is only a residual connection left between us, and over time that will fade away, leaving us within our own two minds. The split was successful on every level we could have hoped for."

Beside her Barry let out a low whistle, shrugging his shoulders, settling down on a stool nearby. With a slight smile he said,

"I haven't seen you that deep into your work in some time. Does it feel good to be just Caitlin Snow again?"

"I'll never be just anything Barry." Caitlin shook her head at the meta, not quite frown on her face. "These last few years have changed me in ways I never expected when we started this journey. I'm stronger and more resilient than I ever thought possible. Nothing stays the same, not even people."

"That is true, but is there any chance my Doctor Snow is still in there under the weight of all those years?" Barry asked, voice and tone wistful. Caitlin smiled slightly.

"Is the Barry Allen I knew still in there, or has responsibility buried him?"

They both laughed gently, feeling the years seem to fall away. It was like they were back to when they first started Team Flash, before they began down the dark rabbit hole of Thawne and everyone that followed. It warmed Caitlin's heart, yet at the same time she knew that it was just a moment, that in the end reality would come knocking and they would just be ships passing in the night like they have always been. She sighed softly.

"Why are you really here Barry?" Caitlin asked, finally cutting though the warm fuzzies. "Why aren't you with your family?"

"Who is to say you aren't my family Cait?" Barry responded, smile falling from his handsome face. Tone turning serious.

"You and I both know that I'm not." Caitlin, ever the pragmatist, shook her head. "Iris and Nora are your family. Your destiny. Just because there is one timeline out of countless others where you are with me and happy, does not mean that this is that timeline."

"How are we to know that Iris is my destiny?" Barry leaned forward, eyes flashing lightning in the bright light of the lab. "Just because there is a newspaper article from the future that has Iris West-Allen on it doesn't mean that the future is written in stone. You know how one simple decision can change the future."

"While that is true, Iris is your wife. Nora is your daughter. In this timeline, you and I don't get to have our happy ending." Caitlin sighed. "My lot in this timeline is to be alone. Cold as ice."

"No, I refuse to let you believe that." Barry stood and knelt in front of her, hands warm on her dress pant covered knees. "I am the one who decides who I love and want to spend my life with. Yes, at one time I thought that it would be Iris, but now I know better. YOU are the one I want to grow old with. You, Caitlin Snow, are the one who makes me happy."

"You can't mean that Barry." Caitlin felt tears well in her eyes again.

"Yes, I can." Barry insisted. "For several months now, even all the way back to when you and Cisco pulled me out of the Speed Force, I've felt that things have been off between me and Iris. I wanted to just chalk it up to the stress of stopping DeVoe and then Cicada, but there was more to it than that."

"What do you mean?"

"My time in the Speed Force showed me everything. It has just taken time for my brain to process everything that I saw once I was back in the real world. Past, present, future. Every variation of every timeline there ever will be, and in many of them, there was no Iris West-Allen. In may of them, there was no Iris West. In nearly all of them though, there was a Caitlin Snow. Even if you never worked with me, there was a version on you out there.

"Originally I was so caught up in being married to Iris that I didn't stop to realize how little she meant to me after I came back. I was going through the motions trying to save something that wasn't even there any more. Cisco told me about how she didn't want you to try and rescue me. About how she forced all of Team Flash to move on. Would a wife really give up that easy?"

There was pain in Barry's voice as he spoke, revealing his heart to his doctor. Caitlin wanted nothing more than to wrap him up in her arms and make everything better, but until he was a free man, she would have to bide her time.

"Barry, you have to let Iris know this. You have to tell her what you feel and what you went through in the Speed Force. Have you even told her anything about it?"

"No." Barry shook his head. "Every time I try to bring it up, she changes the subject. Now with Nora here, Iris has a second person to help deflect and keep me from talking about my time there."

"I would have thought Nora would be dying to know anything about the Speed Force." Caitlin wondered.

"She may, in time." Barry shook his head. "Right now, she's still trying to get over the thrall Thawne had on her. You know how persuasive he could be."

"I will give him that, he was charismatic." Caitlin scoffed. "Able to fool us all into thinking he was Wells and actually cared about all of us in his own way."

A sudden thought came to Caitlin, and she knew that it could be helpful in the future, and possibly the past.

"When you tell Nora about the Speed Force, do it in the Time Vault. Have Gideon record it; she already knows all of our secrets anyways. Archive the conversation. There may be things that you mention to her or that she asks about that we may be able to use in the future."

"I'll see if Gideon already has something similar on file." Barry nodded. "After all, she exists outside space and time. There may already be records of our conversation, tools Thawne used in learning how to use his powers."

Barry popped up, and dropped a kiss on the top of Caitlin's head.

"Thanks Cait. I'll see you later." Then he was gone in a flash, leaving ozone in his wake. Glad that she could have helped in some small way, Caitlin turned back to her research, focusing on things other than her potential relationship with Barry Allen.

* * *

Surprisingly, Iris didn't make a huge fuss when she returned to the Cortex the next day. Caitlin didn't go out of her way to greet the other woman. She kept busy with her research while the rest of the team gathered, going over the plan for the day. It was the usual, split Central City up onto quadrants, and each meta was given a section to patrol. With her lab just off to the side of the Cortex, Caitlin was able to hear any conversations had in the other room, so to drown out their distracting voices, she had music playing softly in her lab. That was why she didn't hear Iris until it was too late.

"He's going to pick you, you know." Iris stepped up to the end of the table Caitlin was working on, arms crossed, frown on her face. Her eyes were red, and her appearance was a little less put together than normal.

"I'm sorry Iris." Caitlin was genuinely remorseful. "I've told him that he needs to be with you and Nora, not me. I don't want him to give up on you. In the end though, it's his choice, not mine."

"Noble of you, but how can I trust you?" Iris said emotionlessly.

"Why wouldn't you?" Caitlin was taken aback by the way Iris seemed to spit poison without thought or emotion.

"You've always wanted Barry; you said it yourself."

"Yes, but has there been a single time I've ever actively gone after him? No. I respect him and you more than that. I am not a homewrecker, and I never will be." Caitlin said firmly, standing to face the other woman. She had finally had enough of the other woman's bitterness.

"I don't appreciate being disparaged for something that I haven't even done. You have been a respected colleague on this team, and I have tried every effort to be civil to you, but I have to put my foot down Iris. Please leave my lab, and don't come back unless it's for something related to a meta we are trying to capture."

The dark skinned woman stared at her for several long moments, and on instinct Caitlin called up her cold powers, fists clenched at her sides. She didn't want to hurt Iris, but if she needed to get forceful, she would. Suddenly Iris turned, pouting as she stomped out of the lab and back to the center console of the Cortex. Caitlin let out a breath and released her grip on her powers, dissipating the cold with ease.

Killer Frost walked in just as the last of the ice faded away, turning to look over her shoulder at Iris. She rolled her electric blue eyes before reaching over and closing the sliding glass door to the lab. Iris studiously ignored them, plopping her laptop on the console in a way that would have made Cisco wince.

"What crawled up her ass?"

"The fact that she wants to blame me for Barry beginning to fall out of love with her. I haven't encouraged him in any way, yet she wants to pin all the blame on me. She fails to realize that she could be part of the problem. Or that there is no real cause other than Barry's time in the Speed Force."

"Let's chalk it up to both things. Iris has always been a pushy, narcissistic chick, who knows nothing of what really goes on here. Being in the Speed Force simply removed the blinders that Barry had on before." Frost shrugged, arms crossed on her chest.

"Do you have an idea of when she'll meet the person that she ends up falling in love with in this timeline?" Caitlin asked. "No details, I just want to know that she will eventually move on and be happy."

"Jeeze, you are such a bleeding heart Caity." Frost rolled her eyes again and huffed out a sigh. "Yes, I do. She's already met him, and part of why she's becoming a royal pain in the ass is because she's already begun to develop feelings for this person. She's feeling guilt right now, and that's feeding her anger. Don't worry though; once things are finalized with her and Barry, she'll move on. He has no connection to S.T.A.R., so once she leaves, we won't see her ever again."

"Really?" Caitlin tried to hide her joy, but the smirk on Frosts face made her realize she didn't hide it as well as she thought. Caitlin felt her face flaming, and proceeded to stick her tongue out at Frost. The other woman in turn laughed, shaking her head.

"Feel better now?" Frost's voice sounded down right evil when she smirked like she was. Caitlin glanced at Iris and felt her grin become even wider. The other woman was trying to inconspicuously shoot daggers at the two cold metas while trying to do her work.

"Yeah, now that Iris is trying the 'I'm gonna kill you with laser eyes' thing that she's doing right now."

The two doppelgangers laughed and decided they were through with the other woman for the day. Together they got back to the business of unlocking their genetic code.


	7. Chapter 7

As Caitlin and the team worked to keep Central City safe, she found out that Barry, Iris and Nora along with Joe has finally decided on a time to sit down and go over everything as a family. How she found out wasn't the best way.

"Cait, please. You have to be there, for me." Barry begged her on the afternoon of the get together. "I need you there to be my support."

"No Barry." Caitlin shook her head. "The conversation is going to be hard enough as it is for you without Iris trying to draw blood from me every chance she gets. This is YOUR family, and is still your responsibility."

He gave her puppy eyes and it took everything she had to not give into his request. This was his fight, not hers. She have him a quick kiss on the cheek and gave him a swift hug.

"You can do this Barry." She smiled at him. "Neither one of us asked for this, for life to happen the way it has. We can't change the past, even though you can travel through time. Our experiences make us who we are. Your family had made you the man you are today. You owe it to them and to yourself to stand up and tell them how you feel. Having me there would only be a distraction and a fall back if things get nasty."

"I know." Barry sighed, resting his forehead against hers. "I just feel more confident when you are around."

"Then here, take this." Caitlin held out an ear wig to him. "Wear this, and I'll be able to hear everything. If you need anything, I can coach you through it from here. I'll help you, but this needs to be done by you."

"Thanks Cait, you're the best." Barry slipped the tech into his ear, brushing a kiss across her lips before speeding away.

About 20 minutes later Caitlin could hear voices besides Barry's, and she knew that she was about to hear everything that went on across town in the loft Barry owned. He heart was breaking for all of them, her included. None of them asked for the fall out that occured after the accelerator explosion all those years ago. Nor did they ask for the impacts of Barry's Flashpoint, or of him surrendering himself to the Speed Force. If none of that has ever happened, things would have turned out much different. Maybe everyone would have been able to have their happy ending. Their Original Happy Ending.

"What's this all about Bar?" Joe asked, warm voice troubled. He was the only West that Caitlin really liked. He was the father figure that she'd never had, so she looked up to the grizzled cop with affection. She prayed after tonight he wouldn't lose that affection.

"I guess I'll start when I came out of the Speed Force." Barry started slowly. "Obviously I wasn't the same person who went in."

"I'll say. Your brain was more scrambled than my eggs were this morning." Joe commented, earning a soft laugh from Barry. Caitlin thought she heard a scoff and a snicker in the background. Iris and Nora respectively.

"Spending that much time immersed in all times and all realities made it hard for even my enhanced brain to comprehend at one time. I was on information overload when I came out. What I was speaking and writing was what is referred to as Time Glyphs. These are what Thawne thought he had discovered, but in the Speed Force, I found out is was something that has existed since time itself.

"The Speed Force is alive, and it created the Time Glyphs to record each and every history that has ever been or ever will be. While I was there, I saw all of it, millions of possible outcomes. Surprisingly, there were very few where Iris and I were ever together, let alone married. She was in every timeline, but we were nothing more than friends at most and in others, we never knew each other at all."

Barry paused, and Caitlin could hear the blood rushing in his ears through the bone conducting microphone in the ear wig. Even though she knew snippets of what had happened to Barry, hearing it like this was hard. She settled in to listen to the rest.

"Yes, but once you saved Mom from the Samurai robot, everything went back to normal, right?" Nora, bless her, wasn't letting anyone know that she knew what Killer Frost had told them several weeks ago. After all, she kept the secret of Thawne from them for almost a year. The girl knew how to keep secrets.

"Yeah, I thought so." She could hear Barry rub the back of his neck. "Even with the couples therapy that Iris and I did seemed to help smooth out some of the wrinkles left by me leaving for a while. In the end though, nothing seemed to really work."

"I thought we were working past this. I felt like we were beginning to reconnect, that things were getting back to the way they were when we first got married." Iris replied, voice raw sounding.

"I thought so, but the more time that passed from me leaving the Speed Force, the more something seemed to not sit right with me." Barry spoke. "I wasn't sure what was wrong until Oliver and I confronted the Monitor."

What did that crazy, intergalactic nutjob have to do with what was going on?

"Who?" Iris and Joe asked.

"The Monitor. He's the guy that was pulling the strings of the dude that body swapped dad and Oliver." Nora replied.

"Oliver and I stepped through a portal into his dimension, to see about getting him to stop letting that madman John Deegan rewrite reality. When I did that, all the memories from being in the Speed Force came back, but they were unscrambled. They were just there, but they didn't overwhelm me."

"You never told me that." Iris tried saying gently, but her tone was more pointed that concerned.

"I've tried telling you about what has happened to me several times since coming home, but somehow, the subject always get changed. No one knows what I went through. Caitlin had a lot on her plate, first with Killer Frost and then Amunet. Cisco was dealing with Gypsy and Harry. Joe had Cecile. No one had time to know what was going on in my head."

"But you did let Gideon know, didn't you Dad?" Nora asked. "In the future, I came across logs that you recorded talking about the time you spent in the Speed Force. I didn't go through all of them. The early ones were mostly filler as you slowly worked your way through your thoughts."

"Yes, I told Gideon." Barry replied. "She keeps everyone's secrets and tell no one of them."

He took a deep breath and let it out with a sigh.

"Back to the reason I called you three here; there is something I need to tell you. Joe, I love you, and I am so very thankful that you were my dad when my real dad couldn't be there. I also wanted to let you know I'm sorry if I am about to let you down in any way.

"Nora, knowing you in this timeline has been a joy. I pray that you will be able to stay with us a little longer, and that I'll get to meet you again. I love you more than you will ever know."

There was another pause, and Caitlin sniffed softly. Tears trickled out of her eyes at the rawness of Barry's tone. He hated hurting anyone, especially the people he loved the most. She also knew though, that there were only so many lies he could live with before something had to give. Unfortunately, it seemed that his relationship with his adoptive family is what would suffer.

"You can do this Barry, I'm right here." Caitlin barely whispered.

"Iris, you have no idea how I wish I could change how I feel." Barry's voice thickened with regret. "I do love you, but not the way a husband is supposed to love his wife."

Caitlin could hear Iris and Nora trying to hold back their tears.

"At one time, I truly thought you and I were the happy ending I was looking for. That it would be us against the world. That we were written in the future as destiny. In the end though, my actions and the actions of others impacted the timeline, changing things in a way that can never be repaired. The love I thought I felt for you, I came to realize were the remains of a crush. I thought familiarity would lead to love, but it doesn't. It just leaves you empty."

Another pause for a deep breath, and the silence was deafening.

"I want a divorce."

For several long minutes no one spoke, not even Caitlin. She could only imagine what was going on. Joe and Nora looking back and forth between Barry and Iris, Iris staring at Barry, Barry alternating between looking at the floor and Iris. Caitlin was so tense that she felt ice crawling up her arms, fingers producing a cool mist. From across town the opposite direction she could feel Killer Frost stir, reaching out to her mind. Caitlin opened up and let her in, to see and hear what she was hearing.

"So that's it then?" Iris asked, voice cold and steely. "You want to dump me and chase after Caitlin."

"What?" Barry replied. "No, that is not the reason I want to divorce you. I want to set you free so you can find who really makes you happy. I know that I'm not that person, and I haven't been since I came out of the Speed Force."

"How do you know that Barry? How can you know that you aren't the only person who makes me happy?"

"You never look at me the way you looked at Eddie." Barry said softly, pulling up painful history. "You were so happy and relaxed around him. With me, there is always a tense feeling, like you're trying really hard to be someone you're not. I love you enough to know that it's not fair to you, making you feel trapped in a situation where neither one of us are really happy."

"What about Nora?" Joe asked. "Won't she be erased from the timeline?"

"Not yet Papa Joe." Nora replied. "The timeline I'm from no longer exists, because of what we have changed here. Once this timeline catches up with mine where I'm conceived, then I'll fade back into the Speed Force. It's only a theory. There's also a chance that I'll live the rest of my life here, as my own unique person. My parents genetically will still be my parents, but not physically."

"Jeze, after all these years time travel still gives me a headache." Joe groussed.

"Okay." Iris spoke up, voice calm and clear for the first time in weeks. "You want a divorce Barry? Fine, we will get a divorce. It will take me some time, but I do still want to be in your life, as your oldest and best friend."

"Thank you." There was rustling as everyone stood.

"Until things are finalized, I'll be staying with dad and Cecile. Nora, it looks like you have a roommate."

"It's ok mom. You can have your old room back. I'll sleep at dad's."

After that Caitlin took the comm out, knowing Barry would be fine on his own. Stomach full of butterflies and mind spinning, the good doctor returned to her work. She knew she was taking a very hands off approach to how Barry was beginning to start a relationship with her, but she felt that what she was doing was right. Stay out of the way and let Barry handle things. After all, this is his life and they are his decisions to make. Yes, she made the decision to pursue anything with Barry if he offered it, but she wasn't going to chase him. She's never chased a man, and she wasn't about to start now. Whatever happened next, neither one of them would regret it.


	8. Chapter 8

It had been a mere two months since Barry first revealed to Iris that he had feelings for Caitlin, but now, he was a free man. His divorce from Iris West had been finalized that morning. Ever since the night where Barry asked for a divorce, Iris has refused to step foot into S.T.A.R. Labs. Caitlin felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. When Iris had found out that Caitlin helped Cisco, she had constantly felt like the other woman wanted her gone. She didn't trust Caitlin and honestly, Caitlin had never liked Iris to begin with. She made sure that she was civil for Barry's sake, but she never went out of her way to converse or have anything to do with Iris West.

It was a Friday night, and the city was unusually quiet. Then again, it was the middle of April and strong storms had just moved through, the line passing through Central City half an hour before. Bad guys, both human and meta, tended to stay inside on nasty nights. Even they didn't want to get caught in hail, high winds, flooding and possible tornadoes. Caitlin felt safer inside the lab than she did in her own apartment during weather like this, even if that left her as the only one there.

Caitlin managed to not be surprised that there was a crackle of lightning and a bright flash next to her work station. She figured Barry would seek her out, but she was surprised at what was in his hands. It was a picnic basket, blanket folded over the top of it. There was a lightness to him that she hadn't seen in far too long. He, finally, looked relaxed and at peace.

"I thought that you'd still be here." Barry held his hand out to her, bottle green eyes full of light. "C'mon, lets eat."

"You're always hungry Barry." Caitlin laughed, slipping her hand into his. She expected to be swept up into his arms and flashed away, but instead he lightly pulled on her hand. Together they walked through the halls of the complex, Barry leading her to the lounge area that overlooked the rear grounds of the facility, something that the team had been using more and more of over the years. It was a place to relax when things got stressful.

"I can't help that." Barry pulled her up to the enclosed part of the balcony, the lightning flashes from outside illuminating them intermittently, a counterpoint to the lighting from inside. It was oddly relaxing. Caitlin helped Barry spread the blanket out before settling down, watching him pull food from the basket.

"True." Caitlin nodded, then asked. "How are you doing? I know things have been busy lately and we haven't had a chance to talk about this."

"I'm good." Barry smiled, handing her a container that steamed softly. Roast beef with potatoes and carrots. There were also buttered rolls and crisp salad, along with slices of chocolate cake and bottles of sweet tea. The man knew how to pack a picnic.

"I thought I'd feel regret or sadness at letting Iris go, but I feel content. It was something that had been a long time coming."

"What about me?" Caitlin munched on one of the cucumbers in her salad. "I mean, I'm sure if we get together too soon, everyone will assume you left your wife for me."

"Those who know us know that isn't the case. Besides, what do you care what others think? All that matters is that we know the truth." Barry frowned at her, reaching across to tuck her hair behind her ear. Caitlin sighed and looked down, picking at her salad. She heard Barry shift, moving closer to her. He bumped her shoulder, reaching down and cupping her chin.

"Caitlin, what's wrong?" His thumb stroked her chin as his eyes searched hers. With a small sigh, she knew it was time to come clean.

"Do you remember Hannibal Bates?"

"Yeah, he was the meta that could look like anyone he touched. Why? That was years ago."

"He came here, as you, after I went to your house to get you and give you the destabilizing compound that we used on him." Caitlin said slowly, eyes unfocused as she thought back through the years to that sunny afternoon. Barry leaned a little closer, head tilted to the side.

"He told me that he was going to do something he should have a long time ago, then he kissed me, as you. And - and I kissed him back. I kissed YOU back."

Barry didn't say anything for a moment or two, then he grinned and asked,

"So who's better? Me or him?"

Caitlin let out a bark of laughter, shaking her head. Trust Barry to defuse the situation with humor.

"You, but that's not the point." Caitlin smiled, shaking her head. "The point is, that kiss made me feel things that I had been desperately trying to hide from you. I already had a crush on you, and that kiss made me realize I felt more than that. But you wanted Iris, so I kept it all hidden."

"Wait, so you've had feelings for me all these years, and you never told me?" Barry asked gently, threading his fingers through her hair, cupping the base of her skull. His touch was so very warm, warmer than anything she'd felt since Ronnie passed.

"I didn't want you to think that I was some weirdo or something. I kept it hidden, and when Killer Frost took over, that's why she decided to follow Savitar. It was a version of you, one that wanted us."

"Oh, Cait, why didn't you say something?" Barry pressed his forehead to hers. "It would have saved us a lot of trouble in the end."

Gently he tipped her face up to his, closing his lips over hers slowly. For a man used to moving a super speed, he sure did know how to invest his time in a kiss. It was like Caitlin's whole body melted into a puddle, warmth filling her in a way she hadn't felt in a long time. She slid her hands up his slim, but still muscular arms, to wrap her own arms around his neck. Easily she gave herself over to him. It was all brand new, yet felt like coming home. It was warm, perfect and amazingly familiar to her. Slowly their mouths opened, plunging the both of them into a world of heat and desire. The world around them faded away and all that was left were two people destined to be more than lovers. Eventually they had to pull apart to breathe.

"Wow." Caitlin whispered, eyes blinking blearily. Slowly she focused on Barry's face inches from her own. Color was high on his cheeks and his eyes were almost black from desire. She was snuggled up against him, almost draped across his lap, his strong arms like bands around her back.

"Yeah, you're pretty wow yourself Dr. Snow." Barry's breath was warm against her skin, skin that was cooler to the touch than normal even after splitting from Killer Frost. "I can't believe I've missed out on that all these years."

"It wasn't our time." Caitlin murmured, reaching up and running her fingers through his hair. "If we had gotten together back then, who is to say we would end up happy? Our experiences make us who we are. Who and what we are now are two pieces to a whole."

Barry kissed her again, more forcefully this time, desire making their blood hot. Caitlin knew, as Barry's doctor, that it was hard for him to make love due to his powers. She wasn't sure if he and Iris had even gotten to a point where they were able to sleep together, and she really didn't want to know. Their powers would, in theory, cancel each other out and they would be able to have sex like normal people. She was itching to find out, but at the same time, the small voice of reason in her head pulled her back.

"Barry, we need to eat before the food gets cold." Currently he was kissing her neck, hands slipping up the back of her shirt. God, she wanted to give in, but she also wanted them to have more time together as a couple before taking that step.

With a groan the speedster pulled back, lightning crackling over his skin and in his eyes as he tried to get the Speed Force in him under control. Secretly Caitlin loved it that she could work him up that fast. Hiding a smirk by looking down she began eating her food before it went cold.

"I can't believe you've kept that from me all these years." Barry accused with a smile. "I've never had a kiss effect me that way."

"You do know, that after we do make love for the first time, I'll have to record data to see what all is going on inside us. For science of course."

"Of course."

* * *

They did decide to take it slow. They didn't tell their family right away that they had began seeing each other, and when they finally did tell them, it wasn't really a surprise.

"I've known all along that the two of you were going to get together." Cisco stated proudly. "I saw it in the future. I also saw what I needed to do in order for it to happen."

"What do you mean?" Barry asked, arm around Caitlin's shoulders. He had her tucked close to his side, more open to showing affection to her than he was Iris. Especially around the team.

"Remember when I told you Savitar saw a timeline where I was reborn and you two got together?" Killer Frost asked in return. "Well Cisco, at one point and time early in developing his powers, saw that future."

"I just thought it was wishful thinking on my part, but it turns out it was one of the future timelines that would be created." Cisco shrugged. "I wasn't sure that the path to that vision would be realized, but once we faced the Monitor, I knew that it was going to happen."

"So you're telling me that - that insane cosmic bully actually did some good?" Joe asked skeptically.

"Yeah, Joe. He did." Barry kissed the side of Caitlin's head, and she saw the older man flinch slightly.

"I'm sorry Joe. I never meant for this to happen, or to hurt Iris in any way." Caitlin gently pulled herself away from Barry. The older man shrugged with a sigh.

"She's a big girl who can take care of herself. She always has been." He said, deep voice soothing and calm. "I had begun to wonder about the quality of their marriage in the last few months, but like everyone else, I just chalked it up to being married to a superhero. Never dreamed that is was anything deeper than that."

"So what do we do now?" Ralph asked into the silence.

"We go on. We protect Central City. We do our jobs. Everything else will work itself out." Barry answered. "We do as we always have, adapt and change."

* * *

In the end, Nora didn't fade back into the Speed Force. She remained in the same reality as her father and mother, as well as her step-mother. XS helped Team Flash and earned her way to being one of the best speedsters in existence. Everyone was happy that she had managed to survive and thrive in the past with the new timeline that was created.

Cisco never really did leave S.T.A.R., but he did have side contracts that he worked on when he had the time. He also jumped to Earth-2 often, working with Harry on various projects. On that Earth, he met a version of Gypsy that he fell in love with and eventually married. She wasn't a breacher like he had been, instead the was a tech meta. She had the ability to shape technology in ways that were invaluable to the team on numerous occasions.

Killer Frost and Ralph hooked up. No one saw that one coming. No one.

Iris found her Mr right and moved away to Coast City, needing a fresh start and a break from everyone. Her and Barry managed to patch up their relationship, but it wasn't nearly as close as it had been in the past. Caitlin wondered if Barry sometimes missed his best friend, but when she asked, Barry would pull her close, kiss her forehead and whisper,

"Cisco is my best friend. You, Mrs. Allen, are my other half."

Turns out, Killer Frost was right about the future Savitar saw. S.T.A.R. was rebuilt, and scientists from all over the globe came to work for Barry and Caitlin Allen along with Cisco Ramone. They were known more for their scientific breakthroughs and innovation than for their super hero jobs. S.T.A.R. would soon become a huge powerhouse in every field of science. The real Harrison Wells would have been blown away by the reality his dream had helped create.

Barry and Caitlin had their happy ending after all. A happy ending that was filled with evil metas and power mad individuals who always sought to have and control things that they shouldn't. Flash and Killer Frost were a formidable team, their opposing powers often leaving the villain stunned and unable to figure out who to go after first. It made Caitlin feel so much better to have her sister out there looking after her husband. Especially once she got pregnant with their first child. Henry Ronald Allen was born first, followed a few years later by Kara Leigh Allen. Both were Speedsters, just like their half sister Nora. The Frost gene was only passed on when Ralph and Killer Frost had their daughter, Crystal. Cisco never had children, being completely happy to be Uncle Cisco. He and his wife had tried, but in the end, they were unable to have children.

"I love you Barry Allen."

"I love you too Caitlin Allen, aka, Dr. Snow."


End file.
